Tuesday, February 18, 2014

This absense, the struggle

That's the quote I'm using to describe my absence from this blog. 

Has it really been 3 years?
3 years?!?! 

So much has happened in this 3 year gap that I literally can't even write it all in. 
I will tell you one thing though, I do miss writing. 
on paper,
on screens,
on table napkins..
I miss it. 

Crazy how Life can swallow you up and make you forget about things you once adored. 
And I'm not bitter towards Life for letting me forget to write, I'm actually glad. 
Because maybe if I was stuck in my world writing, I wouldn't have met the great friends I have today. 
Or if I decided to go home to write I would have never met the man of my dreams...
yeah, I met a man, and he'll be my husband in 6 months.
Life gives me great and it makes me forget about what I used to think was good!
I'm not bitter life, I'm more than grateful! 

I am full of life and life is full of me! 
(we both have pretty big and bloated stomachs at the moment)

But there were times,
and when I say times, I don't mean 3 hours, I mean days, weeks, sometimes a month or more,
when I thought Life hated me. 
Seemed like everything I did, just put me further behind. 
How was that possible, huh Life? 
The past years have not been a pretty perfectly polished picture, although you might beg to differ from my Instagram, but it's been beyond tough. And doesn't seem like its getting any easier.

Every corner turned I run into another problem. 
I feel like I'm in a video game, one my brothers used to play when we were younger. 
Just walking along the sidewalk when BAM! Five bad guys come out and you have to beat them up to get by. Sometimes they'll wait patiently to the side while you beat one up and then pounce on you as soon as you're done with one guy. Other times, three will attack you all at once, and you're punching one guy in the face in front of you and high kicking the guy behind you! 
You finally beat them up and walk forward with no trouble, but you know somethings up, this is a bad neighborhood, there's gotta be a gang here somewhere. 
When low and behold here they come to knock ya down again. 
But once you make it through all the challenges and win the level you feel accomplished and happy! 
And probably parched, thats a lot of finger movement on your controller...

But that's exactly how I felt! Every time I felt I made it past one challenge another one would pop up, sometimes harder, sometimes multiple challenges, and I'm doing everything I can to upper cut them into outer space without loosing my freakin head!

Somehow I always managed, and things, no matter how intense it seemed at the time, always worked out.
I constantly have to remind myself that things will always be okay! Even when they don't seem okay at the time, they are, and it will be. 

It's all okay...

I am strong because of what I have been through, I will be stronger because of what I will go through.

Can't wait to write again, see you soon!

No comments:

Post a Comment